with your spouse or partner / your children, your parents / your team / those you seek to serve.
And the same is true for self.
... because love is an experience, not an idea.
It cannot be created; it can only be allowed. Cannot be destroyed, only obscured.
photo: Bee Alaine Mathis, Termas de Papallacta
This is something we are always in search of. The human who is playing at a different level, generating results that change everything.
It's easy to believe that improved performance and is about doing more. More hours, more hustle, more courage, more widgets, more likes, more adoption.
Being and doing are not mutually exclusive, although sometimes it pays to treat them that way.
Being has no outcome to achieve. It is its own outcome. There are many paths to exploring this. Some meditate, others run, work, drink, play games.
It may feel unnatural at first. It's not the quality of being that is foreign to us, it's in the comparison of quiet against the rest of our lives.
This work is about creation, and creation is about results.
We've seen the performance. What is the state of your being with us today?
The sky is neither excited about the sunshine, nor bothered by the clouds.
So it is in the mind of a leader.
It pays to be present to what is, without judgment, then you can see all of your resources and command them fully.
You have a powerful contribution to make but you aren't really profiting to the degree you know you can. Profit goes deeper than dollars.
I think it looks like this...
What's your contribution? What is your offer to us? What do you bring to this tribe, to our team, to this project or goal?
We're not interested in picking you and we're not as interested in paying for your time as we once were. We want to know if you're willing to pick yourself, to be the person who is worthy of our investment in you.
We're not so interested in your skills; we want your attitude, your approach and your heart. We want to know if you will be humble enough to make us do what, deep down, we know we can. There is only one you in the whole world. What do we get working with you we can't get anywhere else?
A short list: More generous, more urgent, more vulnerable, more personal, more present, more authentic, more honest, more integral, more...
Today is Halloween.
The holiday originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and don costumes to ward off ghosts. This day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark, cold winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death.
We love and celebrate this holiday, I think because it gives us permission. Permission to drop one costume and try on another. To be something different.
Most of us wear costumes everyday. The boss, the artist, the, the entrepreneur, leader, parent, roommate, the preacher, the influencer, the saint, the sinner.
The costumes we wear have a job to do. I think it looks like this...
The job of the ego. Most costumes have been for so long that we don't even know they are a costume.
What would it look like if you gave yourself permission to be outrageous every...
Society has phrases like “Be yourself”. “Stick to your roots”. “Don’t forget where you came from”.
Have you ever stopped to think about who you really are? Where is this thing you call the self? Maybe this thing self doesn’t exist, it’s merely you clinging to an identity built up of stories about the past.
And this is tricky because this identity is wrapped up in your gifts and talents, everything that's gotten you to where you are today.
To succeed exponentially in life and business you have to be willing to change who you are, to constantly evolve. This is impossible when you cling to your identity and believe you are the way you are. You have to slaughter your self-image.
1. Instead of answering the question “Who am I?” Try answering the question “Who am I becoming”
2. Practice being fully present to what is, without judgment. This is about being radically...
Before I begin telling you what I think, I want to establish that I am a “dumb shit” who doesn’t know much relative to what I need to know. Whatever success I’ve had in life has more to do with my knowing how to deal with my not knowing than anything I know. - Ray Dalio, Principles
Hold both arms and hands in front of you, thumbs out. Which one makes an "L"? That's not an answer as much as a distinction, relative to any current perspective.
Answers are cheap, I think. When was the last time you got what you really wanted in business, relationships, and life? Hint: people don't really care what you know.
Use distinctions instead. Distinctions are not truths. They are tools. Tools that help us make more clear and informed decisions and better navigate self, others, and the world around us.
A handful come to mind in leadership, relationships and business
My business is doing well, but I want to be truly financially free.
I need to lose 10lbs.
My team is smart and capable. I wish they listened to me and produced better work.
These things, they are never the end goal. These are means to an end.
Think of the something you desire in life right now. Write it down. What would it mean about you if you got what you wanted?
Financial freedom means I believe I am worthy of abundance and prosperity.
Losing 10lbs means I stopped trying to protect the self esteem of my peers.
Response from team means I found the courage to be true to myself at the risk of disappointing another.
If you want it and don't have it, become the person who deserves it. Raise your standards, not your desires.
Four frogs on a log. Three decide to jump off. How many frogs are left on the log?
We make decisions and choices all of the time. Some are big. Some small. Most we are not entirely aware of.
Human nature craves reasons, especially when the choices and decisions of others affect us.
Explanations open the door to interpretation. Interpretation opens the door to misunderstanding. This is inevitable. Bias is real.
Leadership doesn't need reasons though. Only conscious awareness and action.
Sometimes the answer can be this simple: I've come to an awareness and acted upon it.
PS - there are still 4 frogs on the log. Inspiration - Spirit - finds us at the point of action.